Comments on: Lost

By: Gwenn

Gwenn — Wed, 29 May 2013 02:42:59 +0000

I don’t know your whole story–I just found your blog today. That said, I wanted to comment because I’ve been feeling a bit lost too recently and I’m also celebrating ten years in what I do. It makes me wonder if the questioning is just part of marking the time…?

Two things helped me shake the funk-feeling:

1) Changing the exercise I’d been doing. I have endometriosis and, though I’ve been feeling better in the last few months, I felt like I had plateaued at a certain less-sick level. Then I began doing more intense exercising (more intense than the yoga and tai chi I had been doing), and it changed things for me both physically and mentally.

2) I dove into a new project. I’m an artist, a painter, and I think part of my struggle and my “is this what i want to be doing?” was coming from worrying that I wouldn’t be able to keep making good-useful-powerful work. Since I happened upon the new theme, the process of digging into it has helped me clear out the sticky question marks and re-focus on making good art.

Bon courage!

By: JaymiPop

JaymiPop — Fri, 10 May 2013 19:08:36 +0000

Oh my gosh! My gallbladder is gone too!!! It’s crazy how much of this sickness stuff we have in common. Right before my 2nd was born, I started getting hives and when she was finally born, they were covering my entire body. It was crazy. I thought they would never go away. My girls have seen me go from bad to worse to better to bad…it’s a never ending cycle. Poor things! This chronic illness stuff is not fun!

By: jesseesuem

jesseesuem — Fri, 10 May 2013 15:29:04 +0000

I’m glad you approve of my openness! (no joke) I have def been picking and choosing what to share online, and even in person. I have been a lot worse off than I let on because I just didn’t want to be a burden or pitied. But I realized it was just eating away at my inside, and I felt like I was going to burst.
As for rambling on to you, one of my innocent bystanders, I knew you were trying to get out of your funk and I didn’t want to bring you down!! That whole, “misery loves company thing” or something. Also, I’m not against prescribed meds as an aid, I just know that even high doses don’t work for me personally. Maybe I’m immune? I took them for almost half my life.
I know that eventually I’ll get away from these feelings, but right now I’m just trying to figure out HOW.
Thank you so much for being there and for your beyond kind words!!

By: jesseesuem

jesseesuem — Fri, 10 May 2013 15:21:41 +0000

I seriously wonder if the hormones from pregnancy jump start some stomach issues? I was super sick the last two months before my daughter was born. I actually went into labor a few times, but since I was so paranoid they caught it early and were able to stop it each time. Right after I had my daughter I had constant stomach and abdomen pains. I went to the doctors and asked if it could be my gallbladder, they said it was just stress since I was a new mom and sent me home with antidepressants (which I never took). TWO MONTHS LATER I was rushed to the hospital during a horrible snow storm and found out I had pancreatitis due to gallstones and had to stay there for a week waiting for a surgeon to show up and remove my gall bladder. It’s been down hill fast since then, non stop doctors and tests and my poor daughter has never had a mom who wasn’t sick.

It really is nice to hear I’m not alone in this ridiculous fight with health, creativity and all around life stuff. I am beyond impressed by your guts to pick up everything and follow your dreams! That is amazing and I hope it works out for the best. Plus maybe new surroundings, public transit and new doctors will be just the thing you need. Im excited for you. I’ll be there on IG watching and rooting for you!

By: Molly

Molly — Fri, 10 May 2013 02:45:35 +0000

I love that you put this out there! It’s so easy to appear to have it all together online, because we pick and choose what we want to share. That’s not real life, though. This post is real! I think we all feel this way sometimes, love. You know I certainly have and I’m not shy about sharing, because it does help to get it all out and it does add some accountability. I feel like I’m working pretty hard to get out of the funk I’ve been in and I’m not at all ashamed to say that prescribed medication, albeit a pretty low dose, is one small piece in that. Thank you for sharing and although I never like to see my friends down, I know you will get past this and I will be there for you if you need an innocent bystander. :)

By: JaymiPop

JaymiPop — Fri, 10 May 2013 01:08:48 +0000

I feel ya girl. This past year has been the WORST of my life. I’ve had a lot of the same feelings as you, as well as tummy problems with gluten and such. You know about my tummy stuff. I too even stopped driving for a while. Started having panic attacks when I’d get onto the freeway. The lost/what if feelings too are so familiar to me!

I think mine started after my 2nd daughter was born and I was really sick, stopped working and was just…stuck. A little over a year ago, we decided to pack up and quit his job to follow our dreams. We are moving to the city to go to art school. It’s such a scary yet excited time. And I guess I’ve had this past year to try to get my ducks all in a row before the big change. It’s been tough, but I feel like it’s finally clearing up a bit.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are not alone!!!! Big hugs to you and it will get better, I promise. (we gotta tell ourselves something, right?)